Romantacizing Adoption
(I don't know if I spelled the title right) I have been reading alot of transracial adoptee blogs lately, most of the adoptees being from asian decent. Those blogs have brought up a lot of emotion for me: doubt, guilt, sadness, and then a passion to educate myself on certain issues regarding adoption. There are many issues from these blogs that I want to blog about over the coming weeks, but I wanted to start off with the romantics of it all.
Ladybugs, panda bears, red threads, and cute little Chinese outfits seem to swirl around the hearts and minds of parents adopting from China. The good luck symbols and sweet accolades from Chinese folklore appear to make us dreamy eyed. We see a ladybug and it means that good luck is around the corner. That red thread is sure to connect us to our daughter an ocean away. We dream of her playing in the flowers in our gardens, swinging on the swings at the park, and snuggling with us in the evening. It's all very, very romanic.
Several of these adult adoptees scoff at these 'ladybug dreams.' But, I ask, is it so bad to have on rose tinted glasses if we also study up on the issues of transracial adoption? If we approach our child with eyes wide open, are ladybugs and panda bears the thing that makes us bad parents? I don't think so.
I think almost every parent that desires a child goes into their biological pregnancy or their paper pregnancy full of hopes and big dreams. We all wear rose tinted glasses because our hearts are full of love. We can't wait to share our lives and our experiences with another human being.
For those of us in the process of adopting, the journey is a long one and it's on a road that is full of boulders, hills, and valleys. We are so excited to have a little one on the other end of the wait, but yet sometimes we are hit with dissapointment and sadness. Like a woman in labor having to focus on a tiny object to help eleviate her pain, for us adopting parents having something to grasp onto, like a ladybug trinket, helps ease the these months long labor pains.
Good parents don't dwell on the romantic but they can revel in it. Good parents ensure that the child is loved and that everything about them, heritage and all, is embraced and celebrated. The ladybugs and panda bears are just the icing on the cake.
Ladybugs, panda bears, red threads, and cute little Chinese outfits seem to swirl around the hearts and minds of parents adopting from China. The good luck symbols and sweet accolades from Chinese folklore appear to make us dreamy eyed. We see a ladybug and it means that good luck is around the corner. That red thread is sure to connect us to our daughter an ocean away. We dream of her playing in the flowers in our gardens, swinging on the swings at the park, and snuggling with us in the evening. It's all very, very romanic.
Several of these adult adoptees scoff at these 'ladybug dreams.' But, I ask, is it so bad to have on rose tinted glasses if we also study up on the issues of transracial adoption? If we approach our child with eyes wide open, are ladybugs and panda bears the thing that makes us bad parents? I don't think so.
I think almost every parent that desires a child goes into their biological pregnancy or their paper pregnancy full of hopes and big dreams. We all wear rose tinted glasses because our hearts are full of love. We can't wait to share our lives and our experiences with another human being.
For those of us in the process of adopting, the journey is a long one and it's on a road that is full of boulders, hills, and valleys. We are so excited to have a little one on the other end of the wait, but yet sometimes we are hit with dissapointment and sadness. Like a woman in labor having to focus on a tiny object to help eleviate her pain, for us adopting parents having something to grasp onto, like a ladybug trinket, helps ease the these months long labor pains.
Good parents don't dwell on the romantic but they can revel in it. Good parents ensure that the child is loved and that everything about them, heritage and all, is embraced and celebrated. The ladybugs and panda bears are just the icing on the cake.
posted by Wendy at 2:50 PM
1 Comments:
Well said, Wendy. My personal feeling during the adoption process was "There is no red thread connecting me to my daughter... just a mountain of paperwork!" Best of luck to you in your endevours.
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