Captain John

John has finally received his papers stating that he is officially a captain for the Houston Fire Department. He has to finish up with some logistics and then take a class and he will be released to work in his new rank. Congrats babe!!!!!!

A Plane Full of Firefighters

For a nervous flyer, there isn't anything more comforting that to be on an airplane full of firefighters, even if the nervous firefighter is the one who is nervous. On the way out to Indianapolis and then on the way back home, my plane was crammed with firefighters and medics. One fire department in particular was on the same flights that I was on. It was pretty fun to meet up with them again at the end of the week.

On my flight back home, I was seated next to a firefighter who was not a fan of flying. As many of you know, I also don't like to fly and usually rely on the comforts of John and some Valium to get me through my travels. This was my first big flight without him in a long, long time. I did pretty good on my way out but of course I had my medicine. On the way back, I got so carried away conversating with my fellow firefighters at the airport that I forgot to take my medicine. I decided that I would try and make this flight without it.

While waiting for the plane to take off, I started talking to the guy next to me. He admitted that he was afraid to fly. I told him that I would share my stash of Valium if he needed it. He was pretty thankful but decided not to take any. He still seemed pretty scared as we were about to take off, so I decided to keep him talking to try and ease his mind a little. I laugh at the memory now because it's like the blind leading the blind. In reality, trying to keep him occupied and not thinking about his fears also helped me with mine. I gave up a lot of my usual comforts to try and comfort another firefighter. I gave him my seat by the window. I gave him my earphones so he could listen to the in-flight movie. I shared my newspaper with him. I shared my food with him. And I offered up my precious Valium.

When the plane ride started getting bumpy and my heart rate started to race, I decided that I wanted my medicine. I dug through my bag but came up empty handed. Luckily the guy next to me didn't need it. I realized I had packed the medicine and that I would have to make this flight drug free. I panicked for a few minutes. Then I looked around at all of the firefighters sitting around me. Many of them are friends of mine. I thought about how I would go into burning buildings with these people. I thought about how we would all risk our lives for one another. Somehow that eased my mind. We were all in this together. We were all part of a brotherhood. Being a firefighter creates a special bond and provides a sense of comfort.

As the plane was landing, we all chatted and laughed that we had survived another plane ride. More of the firefighters admitted their fears of flying. I laughed to myself, realizing that I wasn't the only one who didn't like to give up their control and their safety to another human being. I survived the ride without my medicine and with a lot of prayer. We were leaving the plane when one of my friends turned to me and said that a terrorist would never dare to try and take down a plane full of firefighters. So true I thought. So true........ A plane full of firefighters can do anything, including comforting other fearful firefighters.

Hotel Livin'

Today I moved into a new hotel. The fire convention started today and I decided that it would be better to be closer to the convention center. So I packed up everything at my Greenfield hotel and moved into Indiana. From one home away from home to another.

I travel a lot so it seems like my second home is the hotel room. It's kind of wierd though being in another state without John. Most of my traveling is in Texas. If I am out of state, John is usually with me. It's a little lonely here without him.

The new hotel is great because I can finally connect to the internet on my own computer. I was always hogging Ed's computer. I have been having internet withdrawal!



This morning we started out with a brunch for the exhibitors at the Marriott. They had these giant cookies that were so good! I just love free food. :o) This is Ed's wife Gayle and me.


These two pictures are for my friend Heidi. Her son is a huge Colt's fan. When I saw this fire truck decked out as a Colts' truck, I had to take a picture for him. It was just too awesome!




I am so tired! This convention is GINORMOUS!!!!!!!!!! I did a lot of walking around the exhibits today and I think I got through about 1/4 of it. It was sensory overload. I also saw so many people that I knew. It's pretty crazy being in a differant state and seeing people you know from your home state. I talked and walked too much today, but I still don't think I have burned off all of the calories I have consumed from all of the good food out here.

Anyway, good night for now. Miss you babe!

Texan Feeling Very Cold In Indiana

A cold front came through today and turned a beautiful and mild day into a cold, wet and dreary day. It's supposed to get into the 30's tonight and hover in the 50's tomorrow. Thank goodness I repacked for cold weather on Monday. At the last minute I looked at Weather Bug and saw that the warm weather was going to turn cold. I had packed all warm weather clothes. Thank goodness I checked, otherwise I would be up a creek!

The time is flying by here in Indi. We have one more day of chaplain class tomorrow and then we are heading to the FDIC convention. I am really looking forward to going. It's supposed to be the biggest convention in the US for the fire service. I am a little freaked out about the parking situation but I am praying that it will work out.

It's hard being out of town with the China referrals coming out this week. I am pretty depressed that they only got a week's worth of referrals out this time. The bad rumor was that they were only going to match dossiers from May 31, 2005 so it is a good thing that they did a full week instead of just one day. But still, if they continue to take one month's time to only do one weeks worth of referrals, it will be years before we get our baby. I don't even know what to think or to say. It makes me really sad. I know there is a plan, but right now those are just words. I want to be selfish and get our baby ASAP! I don't even know...sometimes I wonder if we should just jump ship to another country or to another program. In my heart though, I know our daughter is in China.

Hoosierville

I have been in Indi for the past couple of days. I was pretty darn excited when I pulled up to the hotel and saw that they have free high speed internet. Of course it doesn't work for me. For whatever reason my ornary computer does not want to connect to the internet. I haven't been able to connect to the internet and it's been driving me crazy. I am totally going through internet withdrawal.

I was in class all day yesterday to become an instructor for fire chaplains, so I didn't have time to check the internet on my boss's computer. But today, I have finally scored some time to check emails and catch up on the blog. Today and tomorrow the FFC is teaching the Basic Fire Chaplains course. I don't have to teach until tomorrow, so I took over Ed's computer. This will be a brief update.

I plan on moving to another hotel on Thursday so that I can get closer to the convention that we have to go to next. Right now I am about 38 miles away from downtown Indi. Hopefully the next hotel will have internet access that I can connect to.

I miss you all so much!

Off to Indi

I can't believe I haven't blogged in nearly a week! Sorry about that. I have so much to write about but there is always something else that is more pressing to do.

I am off to Indianapolis for a week. I am leaving today and will be back next Saturday. Unfortunately, John has to stay back and keep down the fort. Someone has to make a living I guess. Anyway, I am going to a chaplain's class to learn how to be an instructor and to also help teach. And then I will be going to a conference that is one of the largest in the fire industry. Should be lots of fun! I am really looking forward to it. I just HATE to fly.

On a totally differant note, I just wanted to thank my secret pal from my December DTC group for the beautiful ladybug pin. I love it! Thank you so much!

I am hoping that I will get a chance to blog while I am up there. Since I won't have a husband, or animals, or a house, or my friends to occupy me, or all of my commitments and jobs that I do, I should have some time in the evening to do some writing. If not, God bless your week!

Romantacizing Adoption

(I don't know if I spelled the title right) I have been reading alot of transracial adoptee blogs lately, most of the adoptees being from asian decent. Those blogs have brought up a lot of emotion for me: doubt, guilt, sadness, and then a passion to educate myself on certain issues regarding adoption. There are many issues from these blogs that I want to blog about over the coming weeks, but I wanted to start off with the romantics of it all.

Ladybugs, panda bears, red threads, and cute little Chinese outfits seem to swirl around the hearts and minds of parents adopting from China. The good luck symbols and sweet accolades from Chinese folklore appear to make us dreamy eyed. We see a ladybug and it means that good luck is around the corner. That red thread is sure to connect us to our daughter an ocean away. We dream of her playing in the flowers in our gardens, swinging on the swings at the park, and snuggling with us in the evening. It's all very, very romanic.

Several of these adult adoptees scoff at these 'ladybug dreams.' But, I ask, is it so bad to have on rose tinted glasses if we also study up on the issues of transracial adoption? If we approach our child with eyes wide open, are ladybugs and panda bears the thing that makes us bad parents? I don't think so.

I think almost every parent that desires a child goes into their biological pregnancy or their paper pregnancy full of hopes and big dreams. We all wear rose tinted glasses because our hearts are full of love. We can't wait to share our lives and our experiences with another human being.

For those of us in the process of adopting, the journey is a long one and it's on a road that is full of boulders, hills, and valleys. We are so excited to have a little one on the other end of the wait, but yet sometimes we are hit with dissapointment and sadness. Like a woman in labor having to focus on a tiny object to help eleviate her pain, for us adopting parents having something to grasp onto, like a ladybug trinket, helps ease the these months long labor pains.

Good parents don't dwell on the romantic but they can revel in it. Good parents ensure that the child is loved and that everything about them, heritage and all, is embraced and celebrated. The ladybugs and panda bears are just the icing on the cake.

Easter Basket Surprise

I was so surprised today when my friend Rebecca dropped an Easter basket off at the house. I wasn't home but John called to tell me I had it waiting for me. I wasn't expecting anything like that and it really made my day! I am going to be on a total sugar high for the next week!



Thanks Bec!

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter to all of our friends and family!


We had a great Easter Sunday dinner with our friends from small group. I cooked all day and actually enjoyed it! I made stuffed mushrooms, roasted garlic mashed potatoes, and a green bean stir fry. We ended up having so much food. I TOTALLY blew my 'good eating habits' . But I enjoyed every bit of it.

The guys had fun playing card games and the girls sat around and talked. It was so laid back and relaxing.







Saturday I spent the day with Lisa and Elisa (I am known as Dlisa because I want to be named Lisa like them LOL) shopping in Old Town Spring. That place is so amazing. It was my first time there and I had such a good. It was like walking back in time. They had lots of gift store, antique stores, metal crafts, toys, etc. I looked for baby things but didn't find too much that was totally outrageous. I did find this really awesome book about adoption:


I went to Heidi's house Saturday night and hung out for a while. Her nephew is going through the state police academy and he has these some really good stories about his experience. He is pretty darn funny too. I told him he should be a stand up comedian on the side. Heidi has such a neat family. I always have such a blast when I am with them.

Anyway, Happy Easter....Jesus is the reason for the season!

Secret Life of the Long-Term Waiting Parent

(Found this online.....soo true)

Anger. "If there's one more delay, I'm really going to lose it. How come
16-year-olds are walking around the mall with babies and after years of effort, I'm still here with an empty crib and an overly quiet house? It ain't fair, it ain't fair, it ain't fair." (Repeat till you're thoroughly sick of yourself.)

Denial. "Maybe if I just grit my teeth, follow my normal routine, and wave off
questions about the adoption, I can fool myself into thinking that this doesn't hurt." (My fellow waiting parent Chris refers to this as the "just f--- it" attitude, and recounts the following typical interchange. Friend: "Any news from China?" Chris: "Nope." Friend: "When do you think you'll hear something?" Chris: "Beats me. How 'bout those Cubs?")

Compulsive Busywork. "Another month of delay. Great, I'll have time to [insert
laborious time-consuming project here]." (If this drags on much longer, we'll have the best-looking house on the block – but we're spending all our travel money on polyurethane, paint stripper, and drywall.)

It Could Be Worse. A mind game consisting of complaining to people who then come
up with scary adoption anecdotes, presumably to help you view your own situation
more positively. (Example: "You think you've got it bad? Let me tell you about my
sister's co-worker's cousin who went to Bora Bora to adopt and ended up having to [fill in the blank with horrifying details].")

Calendar-Based Mind Games. "Hey, our daughter will be here by [insert favorite
holiday or family milestone here]. Won't that be great?" (Warning: We have now passed a goodly number of our "She'll be here by…" assumptions, so this is a problematic strategy unless you're very conservative. "She'll be here for our 50th wedding anniversary" is probably a relatively safe assumption.)

Parental Paranoia. "Who's taking care of my child?" About six months into our
wait, I began feeling like I'd left a much-loved daughter halfway around the world, and she was getting pretty sick of waiting for me to come get her, and maybe physically sick, too. (Information about the effects of institutionalization exacerbates this sensation; be careful how you internalize it.)

So me right now!----------> Fear of Failure. "I can't do this parenting gig right. I'm going to screw it up. The kid's going to be unhappy and curse me for bringing her here. What on earth made me think this was a good idea?" (Anecdote: Find some happy adoptive families to coax you out of your mood.)

Toys-R-Us Phobia. I used to love shopping for my phantom baby girl. Now I can't
stand it. I've bought my last nipple till there's someone in my house to buy a nipple for.

Info-Phobia. I'm putting away the Leach and Brazelton books, the Lois Malina
adoption books, and all those other fabulous resources collected and eagerly assimilated over the past year. I loved 'em before; I'll love 'em again—but I just can't deal with 'em right now. Give me a big, fat, sleazy, escapist novel.

Serenity and Hope. An all-too-transient state in which I convince myself that
God is in control, that the adoption will happen at the right time, that we'll be assigned the right child, and that all will be most well. (Pulling this off on a daily basis would require more spiritual maturity than I possess--though I really do believe it, way down deep. Or I'd havegone nuts by now.)

Look Who Came for a Visit!

I had my back door open this evening because the weather outside is so nice and I absolutley refuse to turn on the air-conditioner unless it's neccessary. I am trying to gear ourselves up for the BIG rate hike this summer. Anyway, I went to close the door and saw this big, long slug half-way wrapped around the door frame. I was checking him out when Ashes decided to come and see what I was up too. She started batting at it for a second until she realized it made her paw sticky...Yuck!



Then I went out in the front yard to let the dogs out and check on a plant and I happened upon this little critter:


Seems like summer is just around the corner, which is why I decided to do some eBay shopping tonight for some more baby clothes. I found and won these cute little clothes! I am so in love with the baby stuff!





It's back to bed for me so I can try and get better.

Blogger or My Computer is sooooo SLOW

I was going to update the blog tonight with some pictures and stuff but blogger (or it could be my computer) is acting incredibly sloooooooooooooooooooow.

I have been sick for the last couple of days so I have been living in a fog. I am starting to feel better tonight but still not 100%. I have a busy weekend ahead, so I need to snap out of this! BLAH!

Extreme Home Makeover- Sabine Pass

Here is a blurb on the set we worked on: Friday, April 14, 8/7c
"After the Storm: Texas"
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition rebuilds beloved community touchstones in hurricane-ravaged Sabine Pass, Texas, including the town's only firehouse and its theatre. Rock group the Goo Goo Dolls throw a surprise concert for the town.

Baby Expo

John and I were in class for most of the weekend. We are both pretty tired of being in the classroom. Sunday we decided to have some fun and go to the Baby Expo in Houston. It was held at the Reliant Center, so it was pretty big. We got to look at tons of great products and learn about differant formulas. Similac even gave us a really cool gift box with a teddy bear, picture frame, a baby book, and a sample of their formula. I think we were the only ones who got the box. It was super cool!
I was a little dissapointed though because the expo was put on by WalMart so pretty the only products they had there were things offered by WalMart. All in all though we had fun and got a ton of samples!







After the expo I was supposed to go get some scrapbooking done with Heidi and Rebecca. Unfortunately, there was a firefighter fatality and I had to go to work. So the weekend ended up on a not so good note.

Baby Cuteness

I finally broke down and bought some baby clothes. This adoption just doesn't quite feel real yet. We seem so far away from our referral, much less traveling to China. The news of referral time waits going up has been incredibly depressing. I just felt like maybe starting the process of getting ready for the baby will help us feel closer to getting her.

Alot of my friends go resale shopping for their kids. I love thrift stores. I got that from my Mom. She has awesome stores out in California and I am so jealous. Anyway, babies grow so fast that often times the clothes are in really great shape. I could even find some brand new, never been worn clothes for $1.50! I hit the thrift stores with my friend Rebecca and managed to find some very cute clothes, including a froggy bathrobe. Washing those clothes and looking at them has really lifted my spirits. I feel a little closer to her.

We are going to start collecting things for her nursery and for her over the coming months. It will be more cost effective and won't put such a financial strain on us when we get closer to going to China. We still haven't figured out a good time to register for items. I think we will wait until we get our referral.

Good news! I think my sister might try to go to China with us! I really, really, really hope that she can go. I think it would be so fun to have her there as moral support, to take pictures, to share the experience since she wants to adopt and to help us out. I am praying so hard that this will work out!

A&M Fire Training Weekend

Is it really Wednesday?




This past weekend we spent up at A&M Fire School. It was a special training event for Harris County Firefighters Association. John took a class and I taught a class. It's so wierd because I have gone up to weekend and week long training so many times and have even scored an instructors position and yet this is John's first time going. He's lived in Texas his entire life and has been in the fire service for what seems to be forever and he has never gone. He has gone to the fire field for his airplane firefighting classes but never for the infamous weekend/week long.

This training school is supposed to be the be-all, end-all of fire training in the United States. It's actually pretty amazing. They have a mock airplane, a ship, Am-Trak trains that are piled up as if they were in an accident, and disaster city which is a mock up of a city that has gone through a disaster. Imagine that. Anyway, they also have tons of differant types of structures and industrial units that they use to practice firefighting. Firefighters really do get state of the art training there. I think it's pretty cool that I get to be one of their instructors.